January 22, 2015

Sweet Darla

I remember the first time I met Darla.

They had brought her to our local vet office so we could pick her up.  They informed us she was a small boxer, a year-and-a-half old female. She was the very last dog at the boxer rescue in Las Vegas  before the rescue would officially close down.  They let us know if we wanted her, we would have to come pick her up asap, so we did.  At the time, we only had Danny and we wanted a companion for him.  When we arrived the boxer rescue worker brought her out & Darla was so ecstatic to be out of the cage they had her in, she jumped all over Mat & I.  She was all smiles and had just met us for the first time.  I remember thinking for a moment as we put her into the car, "I don't know if we should take her, she's too young & crazy" - but I'm SO glad I didn't listen to that voice, because the moments that were to come were some of the happiest I've ever had. That was 2006.

 (one of the first pics I took of her)

Fast forward to January 15, 2015 around 8pm.  Mat & I were both home, I was busy painting flowers & getting the apartment ready for the 2 photo shoots I would have over the weekend.  I heard Mat call her name about 5 times as he looked down at her on the floor....she was lying on her side.  Since she didn't respond to him, he told me to call her because she didn't seem to want to go out for a walk. I called her name twice from my office and nothing....

This was strange, I immediately went over to where she was in the living room & she looked up at me, her tail wagging slowly.  I got a treat and offered it to her, she just looked at it, but no other reaction.  I lifted her head & feet with my hand & they felt weak, my heart started racing.  Unsure what to do next, I prayed.  Mat carried her, we grabbed her little orange coat & raced to the ER.  Arrived at the hospital around 8:20pm & saw her head lift to look around as we waited for the doc.  I felt hopeful.  Little did we know, what would happen just a few hours later.


They immediately took her to the back & several x-rays later, the doc informed us the diagnosis was dark.  It seemed that there was fluid around her lungs & it was starting to cause heart failure.  We were heart  broken, I felt so helpless. We went into the ICU area to see her for the 2nd time at 10:18pm, she lifted her head, but was still too weak to get up from the table.  I remember her little eyes looking up at me, then over to Mat, and then she put her head down again. My heart was breaking & tears just rolled down my face.

We kissed her a few times & told her we loved her.  We then walked out of ICU & about 10:50pm the doctor rushed to get us saying  she may not make it & that maybe we needed to say goodbye.  I couldn't believe it. We rushed back to see her and her body was shaking trying to get breath inside it......I have never seen anything die, and now I was about to see my sweet Darla pass away.

She took her last breath as I held her paws..... I wanted to fall to the floor and cry.  My husband put his arms around me & comforted me.


Today, January 22nd, I sit home with a strange emptiness that doesn't leave me. I miss her face looking up at me. She was so gentle and smart. I loved seeing her face first thing in the morning & feeling her beside me as I moved throughout the apt.  I used to call her "my little shadow".


She would wait for me with an extraordinary patience I've never seen before.  Often she would nudge the back of my leg when I was brushing my teeth, so I could look down at her. And I always did.  She knew me so well & studied everything about me.  She would sit by my desk as I worked, every so often coming over to get a few kisses from me. Whenever Mat I would watch TV, she'd want to be on the sofa with us. Sometimes she would even want Mat off the sofa, so she could have me to herself. Those days she made us both laugh, as she would GROWL at him.

We were so overjoyed taking her to the park, she absolutely loved it there. We would let her off the leash and she would sniff around then always walk back and sit beside us.  The days she went to the vet I would hold her to make her feel safe, I would tell her she was a good girl. She loved that.  One of the things we miss the most is coming home & seeing her greet us with the same HAPPINESS & JOY as the first day we met her.  I have never been so sad & heartbroken.  I ask God to get me through these next few days, and I have to remind myself to thank Him for the time he let us have with her. 


She loved us, we were her entire world & we loved & adored her.  She was my shadow, our companion, as close to a child as we've ever had together......we will forever miss her unconditional love. 


It's comforting to know that everyday that passes is a day closer to the day I'll see her again.





-post by jen ramos



45 comments:

  1. I am so sorry. We recently lost both our puppies within just a month of each other. We know how heartbroken you are and we wish you love and comfort. You have our prayers.

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  2. i am soooo sorry to hear about the loss of Darla! i'm glad you got to be her family. i hope you find comfort in knowing that she is in a happy place watching over you.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that it gets easier soon. Your post was beautiful. It sounds like Darla was an amazing companion and a wonderful dog.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that it gets easier soon. Your post was beautiful. It sounds like Darla was an amazing companion and a wonderful dog.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that it gets easier soon. Your post was beautiful. It sounds like Darla was an amazing companion and a wonderful dog.

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  6. I'm so sorry Jen. In times like this I think there's one thought we should hold on to: do not be sad for the time you won't have her around, be happy and grateful for the time you did.

    Lots of love for you,
    Sandra @Blasfemmes

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  7. please watch "GoD and DoG" but Wendy J Francisco
    http://youtu.be/H17edn_RZoY❤️

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  8. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in your beautiful memories of her. Know that you gave her a wonderful life and a had a bond that can never be broken. Prayers for you.

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  9. Oh, Jen. I am so sorry for your loss. She was the sweetest girl - you can just tell by looking at her pictures. I have three dogs and they are my world, so I can imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing you have an angel watching over you now. Sending you lots of love. <3

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  10. I am so sorry to read about your pup! Always just a sad moment. I remember feeling hopeless when our golden retriever left us and I was 1200 miles away... it's great that you had so many beautiful moments!

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  12. I 've never owned a dog. But I've heared that losing a dog is like loosing a family member... and I know that pain. I 'm so sorry for your loss. Time heals the pain and Darla will always be with you through your beautiful memories. Take care.

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  13. I was so sad to see when you posted this on instagram. thinking of you and sending you love in such a difficult time xo,D

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  14. So sad but she will forever be in your hearts. I still miss my dogs I lost over nine years ago. They are in my heart. Lots of love to you Jen.

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  15. I'm a regular reader, but haven't commented before - I am in complete tears losing it at my desk! I am so very sorry for your loss and cannot imagine your heartbreak. I have a puggle named Izzy and as she gets older I dread the day when I know I'll have to accept that us humans live longer than our precious puppies. My Izzy looks just like Darla! Seriously some of your pictures close to her face looks like she is my very own little girl, and imagining that face gone breaks my heart. I know no words of comfort since this is a path I've yet to cross, but I echo what Sandra said, try not to be sad for the emptiness that's left, but focus on how lucky you were to have her! We know when we adopt these babies that day will come, so all you can do is count yourself lucky you had such a wonderful little puppy should in your family for as long as you did.

    Much love to you and your husband, you are in my thoughts!

    Lynnette
    @lynnetteelaine

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  16. I am very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. I truly do. I wish for you for this pain to slowly go away. She will always be your darla forever and ever. She is your angel.

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  17. Oh Jen, I am so sorry that your lost your little shaddow.

    We lost our dog Milo to a brain tumour in September. I feel your pain and I am sending you love from across the pond.

    I'm sure it feels like it will never get easier right now but I promise that the empty feeling will go away and you'll just have all the happy loving memories left.

    x

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  18. Loosing a fur baby is hard. I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful girl. Sending you my thoughts and prayers.

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  19. What a beautiful tribute to Darla. We loss our sweet Blue this past year and I so understand what you are going through. I miss my little shadow too. Love to you ❤️❤️❤️

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  20. I am crying at work reading this beautiful tribute. We lost our sweet lab in late October and I think about her every single day. A shadow is truly what these wonderful creatures become. We are their entire universe. Thank you for sharing your pain, I share mine with you too. It will get easier but it never goes away. I live in a dog lovers city (Denver) and my heart aches with happiness and loss whenever I see dogs running around- which is every day. You are forever changed because you had Darla and although she's crossed the Rainbow Bridge, she will never be alone or in pain. Hugs to you and Mat.

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  21. This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is to lose a fur baby.

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  22. wow, this post has me in tears. my heart breaks for you both and i cannot imagine how it must feel. thank you for sharing though; it is a great reminder that life is precious and short so we must enjoy every moment we have with those we love. rest in peace darla.

    - jaime

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  23. Ugh. My heart is breaking for you and Mat. I have been wanting to read this post, but I knew I would weep like a baby, especially since I have 2 doggies and can't imagine not having them by our side. Such a beautiful post and I can't even imagine what you two went through that evening. I know Darla must have felt so incredibly loved and safe knowing you both were there with her until the end. We are all praying for you guys that you find peace and healing. BIG HUG!
    Linh {A Beautiful RAWR}

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  24. I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a blessing to know that she was so loved and cared for by you and your husband, and that you will all be reunited again someday. Peace and comfort are yours, in Jesus' name.

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  25. Hi Jen, here is the link to my post about my boxer who died January 15, 2011. http://velvetmoss.blogspot.com/2011/01/buddy.html
    Xo, Iris (Miss_Parrfinovich on IG)

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  26. Could not hold back the tears as I read this post. I am so sorry <3

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  27. Oh Jen, this brought tears to my eyes. I am so moved by the love you and your husband had for sweet Darla. I am reminded of what my husband and I went through went we lost our Ben. His illness was sudden and unexpected. It's amazing how much a dog can touch your life and your heart. I am reminded of Matthew 6:20 and know that one day we will all be reunited with our dear friends-our pets. They are forever in our hearts and one glorious day we will be able to embrace them again. thank you for sharing your beautiful girl with us and we are all praying for your comfort and peace.

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  28. I'm so sorry for your loss. She was lucky to have such a wonderful family to take her to her "grey" years. It doesn't feel like it now but soon when you think about her all you'll be able to do is smile. Her last day was just one day of the many you got to spend with her and soon enough it will fall to the background, leaving only good days for reflection.

    Take care xo

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  29. Blessings and prayers to you and Mat at this time of loss of your sweet family member Darla - such pure and total love. Please do not let too much time go by before adopting again - we have so much love to give and then to receive and another sweet baby is yet another gift from God. You and Mat remain in my prayers that God will richly bless your lives. Thank you so much for sharing your experience - it means everything to your readers.

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  30. I'm so so sorry for your loss :(

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  31. I am so sorry for your loss. As a read this i just couldn't stop crying. They are only in our lives for a short time but your family gave her a wonderful life! Its hard, but I hope it gets easier!

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  32. I pray that you find the strength to go on... I lost my cat in November..no signs that he was sick whatsoever. One minute we were playing the next minute he was taking his last breath. Reading your post made me cry because I have learned that animals can't talk, but they are one of the most loving and forgiving species of this earth. They gain our love by just being by our sides through the good and bad times. I still haven't figured out how to recover, but I hope you, just like me find comfort in knowing how they made us feel and that we should continue to carry that love within us... God bless. You are in my prayers.

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  33. Sorry to hear about Darla.
    She was well loved and loved you both as well. As a child I had pets and I think the older I get I've avoided getting another one because of the attachment and love. But after reading your story, it's such a beautiful story to give love unconditionally. God Bless!

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  34. I am crying reading this. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is obvious from the photos on your blog that you were a wonderful mom to Darla. I am happy you were able to be there for her as she left, I'm sure your presence soothed her. You are in my thoughts.

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  35. Such sad news, I'm very sorry to hear it. You and Mat will miss your baby and we'll miss seeing beautiful Darla pop up in photos.

    Take care.

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  36. Heartbreaking, but yet a truly beautiful post. My condolences to you, your husband and your sweet pup Darla. It's hard to lose a member of the family and as a fellow pet parent I feel your pay. Sending prayers and comforting warmth your way.

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  37. Omg... you have me in tears.. she looks like the sweetest girl.
    I lost mine not to long ago and i understand the pain. Its terrible. Your post was soo beautiful. the pictures were so sweet. Im so sorry for your loss. i know words don't help too much but what makes me always feel better is knowing they are not in pain.. and that we will see them soon.. God bless

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  38. Just came upon your blog. I lost my boxer the exact same way last year. I got him when he was 3 months old. I was so sad to read about your loss. I still cry just thinking about my baby. He was everything to me as well. I came home and found him on the bed. He wouldn't get up. I finally called him into the living room and I guess all of the Love he had for me gave him the strength to get up. Only to just collapse on the floor. My husband and I took him to the vet. But my daughter who was studying to be a vet knew, She knew he was dying but din't tell me. His tongue was cold and so was his entire mouth. They told us he had a tumor in his spleen that had ruptured and he was basically suffocating. They asked if we wanted them to do surgery. But that if they did It would be hard on him. Pain and maybe 3 more months. I decided that I could not do that to my best friend. I had to let him go. He was my buddy, Confidant. My kid. My companion in my darkest days. He was a Boxer and His Name was Cinnamon Toast. I had him cremated and have him home. My life will never be the same again. The weird thing that happened the nest day was that my daughter had an identical boxer come into her work and gave her his paw. We saw that as a sign that Cinnamon wanted us to know he was okay. Same day he also sent another boxer to see my son. Life is weird. I only hope that they know how much we miss them everyday. Just wanted to share my story. And to let you know how hard it is. I am sorry about your girl. But know that you gave her the best life. God will reward you and your husband for taking care of her. And she will be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge. It is a poem. Just google Rainbow Bridge. Thanks for this beautiful post. Gabby

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  39. I'm so sorry to hear about Darla's passing. This post was a beautiful tribute to her life, and I'm sure she will be watching over you and Mat until you meet again.

    xo
    Jenny

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  40. I am so sorry for your loss. I know everyone is saying that you need time and all that. Maybe it will get easier with time, but i know for sure she will always be in your heart. I'm dreading the day when I will have to say good bye to my dog, I try to stay positive and focus on the fact that he is having a good life. I think Darla had a very good life with you guys I'm sure you loved her and spoiled like a princess.

    Hugs

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  41. I am so sorry for you and your husband... I have five cats and I can't imagine what would it feel to lose them. I hope time will heel the pain and make you remember only the nice and special moments you shared. Love, Amanda.

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  42. I am sorry for your loss. It is never easy losing a furry family member. I hope you and your family find comfort in knowing you took care of beloved Darla and gave her the best possible life. She felt your love and care. Her life was complete with you in it. :-)

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  43. I am sorry. I know exactly how you are feeling as we lost our beloved Henry, a chocolate lab we have for 13 years. The house is just not the same without him. I am feeling blessed that we had him for so long and the joy he brought into our family's life!
    Hugs

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  44. This made me cry :-( Sorry for your Loss. Darla is happy now playing in heaven watching over the both of you :-) hugsss xoxo

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  45. So Sorry! I feel your heartbreak. We lost our baby Lhasa (5 1/2 yrs old) in August. It broke our hearts and we miss him dearly. Hugs to you!

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