The Truth about becoming Free

Today I wanted to share something that's been on my heart for a while. I'm telling you this so that the truth can be known instead of a twisted version of it. This is straight from the original source: me, the person who lived it.

My life isn't perfect. For the last several years, I've been a designer & an artist. In the past, I worked as a nude model. It was my job at one point, several years ago. 

Have you passed out yet? NO? Ok, keep reading.

In my earlier years, my life as a young girl was a happy one; I'm NOT a victim of abuse or a sad home life--in fact, I had a great family and still do! I've always been a straight-A student. I've never done drugs and never cared for alcohol much, but, I got caught up in a bad decision. I'm not going to justify it. It wasn't an easy thing to do--but at the time, it meant that I would eat, have a place to live and go to school--all on my own dime. My parents are not well off and were never able to help me financially, which in turn put a burden on me to support myself entirely. I had no role model, never experienced any abuse, just a longing desire to do something with my life, and I knew I needed money to get to that point. So, I posed nude to make money. More importantly, I quit after a short while because deep down I felt convicted. I started to feel unimportant and not valued.

The point is, I made a bad decision, and I'm aware of it. If I could turn back time, I would. However, I can't beat myself up, and I refuse to continue to feel shame. The reason is because I think back to what Jesus did for me, for us. He died for all the wrong decisions I made in my life and will make. But if I continue to live in hurt and shame, that would mean he died in vain. A story that resonates with me is the story of Jesus and the immoral woman found in Luke 7:36-50 where Jesus says to the woman: "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

What Jesus said to that woman is what I feel now: at peace. This letter to all of you was the last bit of darkness I needed to reveal in order to be set free. It's interesting that the few people who tried to "expose" my PAST will now have nothing to talk about. I'm no longer going to feel shame for something I am NO LONGER DOING. God has blessed me with a tremendous amount of love, support, a wonderful Christian church here in NYC and a great business. That is why I continue to lift up his name.

From "SHE" by Kobi Yamada
I hope that women out there who are struggling with money, feeling devalued or lacking hope, can read this and be inspired. Women, who are working as models or in any industry that is looked down upon, should know that they are smart and capable and that God has a purpose for their lives, too. You don't need to feel hopeless or continue to feel shame.




For those people who have tried to taunt me through threats of exposure, you cannot touch me.

"Even though you planned evil against me, God planned good to come out of it. This was to keep many people alive, as he is doing now." (Genesis 50:20)

For the last few years, I've been living God's purpose for my life. I have NO intention of ever going back to modeling, because today I live for Christ--everything else I've let go. Some of you may be shocked, some of you may not care, some of you may relate and some of you may understand that none of us is perfect and that we all make mistakes and bad decisions. The only difference is my bad decisions were made public, therefore,  I also decided to make my truth public. I feel God pressing me to do this now, and I know this is his way of taking the evil intentions and turning it into good. I always knew that I would have to talk about this; I just needed to be ready and strong. Today, I feel that strength which I know comes from Him.

If anyone is truly affected by this and feels the need to discontinue their online friendship with me, you are free to do so. If you are 'not satisfied' with my testimony about my past, then you are free to never visit my blog/site again.  Labeling me or calling me names - is not my problem, but yours.  I have moved past this and hopefully you will respect the situation and do the same.  I will let my current work (MadeByGirl) speak for itself.

When I look at past provocative images of me,  I know it’s me, but I don't feel a connection to that "past" anymore. This scripture explains it quite well, when Jesus said "Behold, I make all things new." (Revelations 21:5)

I'm a new person. My intention is to continue to create a strong impression on women; a positive effect. A friend told me yesterday "Let God finish the masterpiece that he started." So I am.

In light of all this, and to focus on the good, I would like to offer 20% off on MadeByGirl products for the next **3 days*. 100% of the profit for all 3 days, will go to both Children's Cup - an organization serving the needs of the poor children in Africa offering opportunity for them to go to school + more & Women’s Initiative - an organization empowering and assisting low-income women to become financially independent. Just use the coupon code FREEDOM at checkout. Thank you.


* MadeByGirl products only, accessories and products from other designers are not included, sorry.
* expires aug 30th, 2012

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309 comments

  1. oh honey, the past is the past. And I am so happy to hear you are moving forward. Our past mistakes are not who we are :) I have done many things I am not too proud of but I keep walking and trying to be a better person everyday. You have all of my support as a proud follower of your blog :), xoxo

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  2. We all make mistakes. Your probably feeling much lighter these days. But, more importantly, I think it's unfortunate that people try to stomp on your parade, making you feel as though you need to share and defend your past. I hope sharing this has helped you feel better from the inside out ~

    Keep Creating : Keep Inspiring... hugs!

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  3. Thanks so much for sharing! There will always,always be haters even more so when you are living and loving your life! I struggle sometimes so I completely understand! But I know being a spiritual person that living with faith in your heart will always lead you down the right path! Enjoy the journey!

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  4. Dear Jen,
    This post is honest and brave! And it truly doesn't change the way I think about you in any way. Haven't we all made mistakes? I've been a fan and for a few years now and you still have my admiration and support.


    Big hug all the way from Holland! ;)
    Natascha xoxo

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  5. Jen,

    No shame in any choice you have made in the past. This is how we learn and grow.

    You are awesome. You are brave too. I am happy and proud to know you. I support you 100%.

    This post was extremely moving and inspiring.

    Thank you so much for sharing.

    xo
    Coco

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  6. "Guilt = I did something wrong
    Shame = I am something wrong
    Forgiven = I have been separated from my wrongs"
    ~Miles McPherson~ (Pastor of The Rock Church-San Diego,CA)

    It takes courage to write this post publicly, but there is no shame on being free in Christ and sharing this will set other people free as well. There is none of us who is perfect/sinless.
    Thank you for your courage and love xoxo

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  7. This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

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  8. Not like what you did is sinful but for those who think so, as the bible says, "he who is without sin..."

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  9. Have never had anything but respect for you. Such a talented young woman. Everything has gotten you to where you are now. Proud of you.

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  10. Thanks for sharing your story. I love your honesty and courage for not letting your past control your future. I believe that everyone makes bad choices. God doesn't look at that one mistake He looks at your WHOLE life. And if it is the life you have lived for Him. You are a great role model.

    xo,
    Dana

    www.lifesshortblog.blogspot.com

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  11. Don,t worry, be happy!

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  12. Dear Jen, I got tears in my eyes with your words today. we all made bad decisions in our lives but not all of us would have the courage to share it with the world, like you just did. You are brave, inspiring, beautifull, talented, strong and determined. All I admire in a woman and God shines thru you. Bless you and your gorgeous body. Thank god somebody got to paint it or photograph it!! Love from Portugal (got back from hollidays yesterday and found all the gorgeous LOVE posters on my desk. Thank you so much!!) Love them!

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  13. This post is amazing and it makes me want to share my story but I am still to afraid. You have given me some courage tho to tell my family. You are an amazing woman. I hope one day I get to meet you. :)


    http://pinkafternoon.blogspot.com/

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  14. Thank you for this post, but I don't think you have anything to be sorry for or be ashamed of. Good luck to you!

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  15. Hi Jen, I just wanted to let you know how much I respect you and how much you have inspired me to continue to follow my heart and even if I fail, at least I have tried my best to get through the rough times and move forward. I just wanted to thank you for reminding me of the positive things in life and for inspiring me to follow my dreams. God Bless You. :)
    Kathy
    Livingmystyle.com

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  16. Good for you for sharing, and not letting it affect you. You are a strong and talented woman. Lot's of support coming from me! xo

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  17. Wow Jen! You are a wonderful person with a strong soul. So so proud of you for telling your story to the world. May it give you peace inside...

    Laura | Bright Bold and Beautiful blog

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  18. Awesome testimony. What the devil meant for evil, God uses it for good...Amen!

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  19. An awesome testimony.

    What the devil meant for evil, God uses it for good - amen!

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  20. Whew! Now don't you just feel better? What a testimony of God's faithfulness in your life--and what courage for you to come forward! Many lives will be touched by your statement of faith, grace, sacrifice and forgiveness. To God be the glory!

    Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." AMEN!

    Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Even in the depths of our sin, Christ loves us enough to die for us. Do we have any better message of hope and salvation?!

    Jen, I hope you are blessed and comforted by all of these hundreds of responses supporting you! You're amazing. xoxo

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  21. you are strong and beautiful :] never forget that!
    "she is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future" -proverbs 31:25

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  22. God Bless you and these timely words, we all have fallen short but the important thing is to get the lesson from it and move on. I needed to see this message today because as i was praying last night I was feeling so unworthy but the reminder is that he loves us anyway. Truth defeats the enemy, thanks for your courage and inspiration

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  23. Wow, that took a lot of guts. I have been following your blog for awhile, and have loved the images. Full of joy and life in it all. But reading this is really inspiring and uplifting. I always respect people who tell the truth. And the fact that you followed what God was telling you says a great deal of your character. I will be popping in on your blog more often that is for sure! And keep strong, you are clearly a new creation in Christ.

    Blessings and prayers,
    Amanda

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  24. God Bless you and these timely words, we all have fallen short but the important thing is to get the lesson from it and move on. I needed to see this message today because as i was praying last night I was feeling so unworthy but the reminder is that he loves us anyway. Truth defeats the enemy, thanks for your courage and inspiration

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  25. Its not a mistake - its your past and we all have one. What I find more troubling is that someone would ever try to hurt you with it.

    Make no apologies. I love your blog and will continue to visit.

    Be well and GOD Bless.

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  26. Its not a mistake - its your past. We all have one and you should never have to apologize for it.

    What I find more troubling is that someone would actually try and hurt you with that information.

    I will continue to visit your blog.

    Be well and GOD Bless. XO

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  27. I'm also a long time reader who's never felt the need to comment til now.

    Jen your courage & strength shines through ever word in the post & I felt your fear of exposing the truth. You have nothing but my utmost admiration & respect for sharing something so personal.

    Sending warm happy energy your way. Clearly God has great plans for you :)

    Liv

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  29. Jen, it took a tremendous amount of courage and confidence to share this post with all of us. I love your blog and have for a few years now because you are so strong and inspiring. In fact just this past weekend I was reflecting on the bloggers who are most influential in my life and you are (still) one of them.
    We have all done things we regret and we need to stand by each other. We were not in your position and so it's no one's place to judge.
    You have turned it all around and I hope you continue to hold your head up high. Xxxxxxxxxxx

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  30. Jen, it took a tremendous amount of courage and confidence to share this post with all of us. I love your blog and have for a few years now because you are so strong and inspiring. In fact just this past weekend I was reflecting on the bloggers who are most influential in my life and you are (still) one of them.
    We have all done things we regret and we need to stand by each other. We were not in your position and so it's no one's place to judge.
    You have turned it all around and I hope you continue to hold your head up high. Xxxxxxxxxxx

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  31. I just love you and everything you stand for!
    You're such an inspiration and it's because of your faith and love toward God that you shine such an example to thousands around the world!

    We've all done things in our past we regret and are ashamed of, but like you said, God forgives, and so shall we forgive ourselves.

    Never forget you're always a shining light to me ;)

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  32. So you posed nude. What does anyone have to do with it? So you're a Christian now? What does anyone have to do with it? It's your life and you can very well do as you please. Other people can go and take care of their own life. Just don't mind them. Cheers.

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  33. Jen thank you for being real!!! Everyone in their life has things that they are not proud of as all of us are human and its human nature. That is very courageous of you to be real and up front. That's unfortunate that people are so evil and try to use things against you. Anytime we make choices but learn from them it is a blessing!!!

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  34. Jen thank you for being real!!! Everyone in their life has things that they are not proud of as all of us are human and its human nature. That is very courageous of you to be real and up front. That's unfortunate that people are so evil and try to use things against you. Anytime we make choices but learn from them it is a blessing!!!

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  35. Your were already an inspiration, now you have become a row model. You fight for your life and for what you have now. Keep beeing the person you are! And congratulations for beeing a great woman!!
    Kiss,
    Marisa

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  36. There is nothing like getting something out there to lighten your load. Everyone in there lifetime makes decisions that were good for them at the time but looking back maybe not the best decisions. Oprah once said when you know better you do better. I say good for you for not letting someone exploit you, you go girl. Remember you are not alone!
    Donna
    thebeneblog.com

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  37. I am humbled by your acceptance. Now you are free. And you have inspired me to let go of the past and let God take control of my life. Thank you so much. I will take the leap. :D

    fave line:
    I'm no longer going to feel shame for something I am NO LONGER DOING.

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  38. Hi Jen, I adore you and I think it is obvious that God is shining on you and to see the support coming in is beautiful. I have prayed for you the past few mornings that God would double your business and condemn that accusing voice in your life.(Isaiah 54:17) I wanted to leave this scripture with you today and let you know I am covering you in prayer.
    Ps 32:1,2 My transgression is forgiven and my sin is covered. I am blessed, my sin is not imputed to m, and there is no guile in my life

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  39. Well... every experience, every decision we make, in the end makes us unique. I like that your blog, and your art (miles different from what I do) is really you. We are all on a learning path so no need to cast stones at each other! Life is too short!
    Keep it up!

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  40. I love you <3

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  41. I have never read your blog before today. Isn't that strange? The day I click over here and start following you in my reader (I DO own your LOVE print) is the day (or the days following) that you make this amazing statement. My response when reading this? Meh. A shoulder shrug. Honestly everyone else should be doing the same. Choices we made long ago do not define us. What you choose to do now with your life are who you are today. Youth is a tricky thing. Money is a tricky thing. Put the two together and you can have a mess. I think your readers understand that. Your heart has been spoken to and you are reaching out beyond telling us in order to help others. God bless you. You have found your way! :)

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  42. This is inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

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  43. Jen,
    I am praising God for your obedience and courage in sharing His story.

    I'm praying that those who read this would feel the Lord move on their heart and they would respond. Thank you for sharing the Gospel. May you be blessed as a result

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  44. This just makes me love you even more!

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  45. Jen, you must feel so much more stronger now that you put this out. And good for you. Funny how when we face our fears, life gets a little easier to move on with. No need to explain your past, because guess what - its in YOUR past!

    As most have commented, some have had colorful pasts to help them along the way financially. Some people have to do what they have to do to survive. But we are not here to judge because we don't know what life was like in your shoes at that time in your life.

    Keep kickin' butt and follow all your dreams. Keep creating a wonderful blog and continue to paint and living life to its fullest.

    We all are here as friends to support one another.

    Much love ~Vanessa

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  46. How wonderful that you can now feel good about yourself! Period!

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  47. hi Jen, really loved this post, it is not easy to be out there, and share your personal life and your past - but past is the past, and in most cases we have a reason for what we do, ther is nothing to be ashamed of. You are true inspiration to me - very courageous, smart, very nice, likable, beautful, I FORGOT TO SAY - TALENTED AND GREAT ENTREPRENEUR!

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  48. We all have a past but living with regret holds us back from truly living in the present (something we all need to learn). I'm so glad you are now free and your courage and strength is inspiring. All the best moving forward.

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  49. Jen, I have always been impressed with you and how you carry yourself. Not just impressed with your work, but the fact that you are not ashamed to share your faith (our faith) with the world. This post is truly an amazing example of God's love for us. No matter what we have done in the past, He loves us and will still provide for us. He forgives and wants the best for us. Thank you for sharing this and I know you must feel a freedom you have never felt before. We have all come short of God's glory, but that's where is grace and mercy come in. May God bless you even more and I pray nothing but more and more success for you!

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  50. God is always with you. We love you no less.

    xxx
    Kosia
    (Soronko Textiles & Luxury Home Accessories)

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  51. I admire the courage it took for you to share something so private with your readers. Many of us have regrets that will remain throughout our lifetime, but those of us in Christ can stand on this promise... "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

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  53. Good for you! What a brave woman you are to both support yourself and now to open up about it! Very proud to be one of your readers.

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  54. Thanks for sharing your story.....it must have taken alot of courage......it brought tears to my eyes! I love your art and blog.....I've been following it for quite awhile....you're such an inspiration! I love seeing how God is working in your life....so keep doing what you do because you are a blessing to us all!

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  55. I think you are awesome! Hold your head up high!

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  56. I've have made some bad decisions in the past too and I had the courage to changed it because it made me free. And most importantly...happy! We go through many obstacles in life and I am really grateful that I've overcome most of them. I'm still learning but I just keep on moving and keep on believing in myself.

    You are an amazing inspiration and I'm glad you shared this post! You are one of my few favorite people who motivates me to do even better in life. Thank you! XOXO.

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  57. This post just made me want to follow and support your blog and business all the more! So excited to know of another sister in Christ who has redeemed us and covered us with mercy and grace!!

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  58. Dear Jen, you may not have had a role model to look up to, but you taught and made yourself to become a role model for thousands of girls and woman (me included), that is a whole accomplishment. I can´t imagine that there are people out there doing harm to you, they should get their own life. I am proud of the person you are right now and I wanted to thank you for giving me inspiration. with all my heart, love you xoxo Chantal

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  59. I am sorry that you feel you have to apologize, what a dreadful world we live in where you are made to feel shame for something you did. No one should judge you. Maybe you wouldn't make the same decision now, but what's done is done. Another girl might brag about it and proudly post her photos; I would love her too.

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  60. Wow! What an amazing story! You truly are inspiring and your openness and grace shine through all that you do. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  61. Hey Jen,
    I have been following your blog since I started mine 5 years ago & you have always inspired me to achieve more which I am thankful. After reading this post I am even more convinced that you are an amazing woman & when you admitted being a nude model in the past in all honesty I was like "thats it" meaning that its in the past & don't let anyone threaten you with exposure. I don't see anything wrong with what you did & respect you for sharing it. Keep up doing what you do because your awesome!
    cheers!

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  62. I adore you so much for this post. So sorry that anyone ever tried to use your past against you, that makes me so sad, but your strength is present. Kudos for putting it out there and moving forward. Hugs to you, you are beautiful inside and out!

    Jen

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  63. Thank you for your vulnerabilty and depth! Satan's schemes are cruel; deceiving us to think past mistakes can alter our identity/who we are in Christ. You are a beautiful creation of the God of the universe! May you continue to dwell in his freedom!

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  64. Thank you for your vulnerabilty and depth! Satan's schemes are cruel; deceiving us to think past mistakes can alter our identity/who we are in Christ. You are a beautiful creation of the God of the universe! May you continue to dwell in his freedom!

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  65. I needed this. I'm dealing with something so different but I can relate with you. I understand what it's like to have something holding you from freedom. it has been a long while since I've heard/read of the great things God has done. And to say I'm glad you wrote this would be an understatement. I grew up in Christian home, been in christian schools...but the past years my faith has dwindled. And I know I need Him more than ever in my life now. Over those years I couldn't find "the peace" and the burden I've been carrying keeps getting heavier. I feel like where I am now is where you before the miracle God did in your life.

    To read about what God has planned for you, transformed you, and how he has took the good out of it is putting the faith back in me. Last night I came across the perfect verse:

    Proverbs 3: 5-9
    "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best."

    Thank you for reminding me that God doesn't abandon. and that it's time to let Him take over completely.

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  66. God brings us out of the darkness and He lets us soar on wings of eagles. Thank you for sharing and for your courage in sharing. I love that you love God and that what Jesus is is solid in you. Its refreshing to have someone so well known love Jesus. Thank you. and..... i dont care what you did. We all washed clean by His blood and there is NO condemnation between worshipers of Christ, well not from me anyway. Big hug
    deb x

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  67. Jen, thanks for sharing! I read this post today and can't thank you enough for giving me courage to make up my mind about something iam dealing with in my life right now! you are a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and i can feel that you grew stronger after sharing this.

    rock on!

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  68. Well I must say you are in good company...Royal company that is! Really it is 2012 no one is offended or shocked anymore, especially the under 30 crowd. It is a little sad that in todays day and age women have to still worry about this sort of thing. But I do not think it will have a major impact on your life or your blog.You are brave for coming forward. I love your blog, keep up the good work! I recently wrote about one of your posts, hope you don't mind! : )

    www.aliandang.com

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  69. WOW!
    I Really thought your post was going to be something completely different.
    Heck, who doesn't have a few skeletons in their closets. And some people have really BIG closets!
    LOL!
    Keep Calm and Carry On!! As they say;-)

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  70. Jen, you did nothing wrong - in fact, it wasn't a bad decision because look where you are now? A successful entrepreneur - don't let what others think guide you in any way. Your life is your life - You are unique and that's what makes you special. I love your blog and would love to have businesses like yours!! You rock and thank you for sharing - ;-)) xo

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  71. Jen you are just so amazing! I can't believe there people threading you - get a life people!! Anyway I just want to say that by reading your post I am just so present to who you are, your beauty, your heart, your faith and what you are up to in life!

    Vá
    http://acasadava.blogspot.com

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  72. OK, so I am a little late with my comment, but non the less!
    Congratulations for having the strength and courage to reveal yourself, and by that taking the power back! you go girl!!!!!!
    Nope, not gonna stop following along :)

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  73. OMG!! Reading this post completley touched my heart. You are such a woman of confident and integrity and it truly shows. I love that you let God shine through your blog & your work and that's exactly why I follow you. Continue to do you and let God's word carry you through! Blessings!

    -Nycia

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  74. Thank you for your honesty...that's not easy to do. I love your blog and your style and will continue to follow you and admire your products...you've been forgiven by the only One that truly matters.
    Thanks!
    Jennifer

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  75. This was so powerful! I love your blog even more now that you are so open about your relationship with God. Thanks for sharing. I'm assuming you go to Hillsong NY. They freakin rock. :)

    ->Ashley

    diamondsandburlap.blogspot.com

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  76. What we do in the past isn't WHO we are. That's all we have to remember.

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  77. Thank you for this beautifully honest post Jen. I love and appreciate your courage and please know that you inspire me everytime you hit 'publish' xx

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  78. Thank you for this post. You are an inspiration to many women! Praise God for such a wonderful woman such as yourself. Please continue you make art and share your stories with us. Bless His Holy name & Blessings to you!

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  79. Good for you Jen, for taking back your power from the sad few that tried to hold it over you and keep you from God's full blessings and peace for your life. xx

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  80. You are an inspiration in SO many ways, Jen! I can only imagine what a relief you must feel, you deserve every bit of the outpouring of love being sent your way! God bless you for sharing your heart and giving him the glory!

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  81. Jen!! I love this post and it makes me so happy to hear about Jesus on your blog! You are doing awesome things AND sharing the gospel!!Awesome!!

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  82. You are a true inspiration of a beautiful Godly woman, both inside and out. As a wife and mother who once lived a "provocative" past I can totally relate and your words resonate in my heart. Thank you for sharing your story and bringing it into the light. You may never know how many people you've touched by your honesty. Praise God!
    P.S. I ADORE your blog!

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  83. I'm obviously very late with this, but I just wish I could hug you through this screen. Praise God that our bad decisions don't define us -- instead his love does. I honestly don't consider it a big deal, but know that I have also been haunted by past shame and regret that other people may not see in the same way. I'm so sorry that people reacted this way -- maybe one day they can know the saving and unconditional love of our Heavenly Father. He's changed black hearts before! :)

    -- Emily @ SparkleMeetsPop

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  84. Jen, I so respect you for facing this head on. I know it took major boldness to put your heart out like this. I admire you - and I hope and pray now that all of this is out in the open, that you find freedom and complete healing.

    Lots of love and blessings...Danya

    {PinkPeonyStyle.com}

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  85. beautiful and inspiring! hope you dont mind my sharing on my blog www.ahighcottonstyle.blogspot.com

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  86. Jen, thank you for sharing this amazing story! Thank you for sharing such an amazing story, we are all human and everyone makes mistakes. Be proud of the woman who you are I know i am proud to read your blog. P.S. i am so happy that you moved back to NYC..

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  87. Words cannot express how much respect I have for you. Working for you was such a wonderful experience, and I have learned so incredibly much from you as a person Jen. You are such an inspiration. You have built a beautiful life for yourself. Everyone has things in their past that they are not proud of, but its so inspiring to see how you overcame your struggles and ended up where you are today. So glad that I could be there for you during a difficult time. I will always wish you the best.

    With love,
    Shannon

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  88. Thank yo for sharing such a personal story with us. What counts is what you are doing in the present, and not what you did in the past.

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  89. Keep doing what you are doing Jen and don't let anyone stand in your way.

    Viv x
    www.ishandchi.com

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  90. Such an incredibly personal post ... and a very brave one. Let your light continue to shine on. He is certainly giving you beauty for your ashes. Be blessed.

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  91. May the Lord bless you, Jen. You are so precious. Luciana (Italy)

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  92. May the Lord bless you, Jen. You are so precious. Luciana (Italy)

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  93. Jen, I'm sobbing because of your testimony...You have been an inspiration to me by mentioning Jesus on your blog and now I know how much Jesus means to you. Every scripture you mentioned is a blessing! Let no weapon formed against you prosper! God bless you me dear blog friend! XOXO

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  94. For whatever reason, I was drawn to your blog in my reader today, and somehow felt the need to click onto this post. Wow. I am totally moved and inspired by your words. It is funny how sometimes when we feel as though we are losing our way, God gently guides us to something that will make a difference in our day, or lives, or perspective. This post made a difference for me just now, not only because of your story, but because of the "poster" with the "she took the leap.." I am nearing the start of a business and I just loved that and I swear I was guided to finding it!! So thank you for your brave story. I think it makes you nothing short of fabulous!

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  95. Thank you for baring your soul with us! It is wonderful to see what God has done in your life and I am so glad you have not let your past hinder your future! Also, your church sounds AWESOME and it makes me wish I lived in NYC! :) God bless!

    Natalie :)

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  96. I have a young cousin who made a bad decision and she’s too ashamed to come home. I want her to read your post to prove what we’ve been telling her. God bless you for sharing your story.

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  97. Angela: i hope she will read this as well...It's difficult to get through to certain people but I will pray for her.

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  98. Jen, I remember a quote from Oprah..that I think stands true..

    "The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free."

    You no longer allowed the threats or bullying to control your fears of a bad choice made in your past. And now you are free my darling friend...to be even more unbelivably inspiring, remarkably strong, wholeheartedly giving... than ever before. x

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  99. Jen, your words in this post is why I keep telling you that you are so inspirational. No one is perfect and that's the first thing I say on my blog about myself. How you know you're a true Christian is when bad things happen to you or when others try to tear you apart. Jesus said it Himself, "If the world hates you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." But like you said, your faith helps you rise above all that and faith is what drives me too. That and sisters in Christ like you. The result of the transformation is unbelievable. Kind of like how a diamond goesunder fire and pressure.

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  100. So what if you posed nude? What's the big deal about that? Photographing has nothing to do with your value. Love, morality, dignity and humanity are in you and not in a specific job that you did. Why do you justify?? Your life and your decisions are your thing. It is nobody else's business. You are beautiful and nice and why not take a picture? People who you "moralizing" are not so beautiful, they are jealous of you. And why is photographing naked body bad? It's bad when you're not helping each other, when you spin the head of the people who need help, when you do not do anything to make a better life and world. You did not do anything wrong and do not become boring penitent without reason. Be a man (be a strong women :) ). Sorry, my English is not the best.

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  101. You have so many comments! I hope they are all supportive! Just wanted to say that it is not how you start but how you finish and you are finishing strong! So amazing to hear you use your voice! Crazy thing that I've found is that God seems to use all those "mess ups" for his glory! God is a redeemer! Love all you do!

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  102. To God be the Glory!

    Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. It brought me to tears of joy! It reminded me of the song "Amazing Grace". So beautiful!

    I admire your creativity so much, you are an inspiration to me and I hope and pray that the Lord continues to use your work to make His name known even more :-)

    Please keep up the amazing work!

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  103. @bridalembellish: your comment was very touching as were many others. I appreciate the support and encouragement. God is so good, and I thank Him daily for the gifts he has graced mu life with and for the people like you who see his glory in others. thank you!

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  104. Dear Jennifer,
    I mean the "term" dear, because you are a dear sister in christ! Your testimony is powerful and honest and pure, only because of what Jesus did on the cross for you and me and all of us who love HIM. I just discovered your blog via "Sweet Paul" magazine "favorite blogs" page. What a BLESSING to have found you! Your obedience in writing out your testimony and sharing it literally with the world is a huge blessing to me and convicting too! I've been thinking about a post where I'd share my faith, my struggles and secrets. One day I will share my testimony to my readers too :) In the mean time, thank you for your honest obedience to Jesus and I wish and pray your walk with Jesus is blessed and full of JOY! Much love (very much meant!)
    Ursula, blogger at
    http://kraftmint.com

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  105. Love your testimony and that you were brave enough to share it. You are a beautiful & stylish artist with so much more to offer...your story. Your blog & business open doors to so many who follow you. Your testimony & life you share touch & make an impact. THANKS!

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  106. Hi Jen - I wanted to read more about you and started reading this about your past, I really don't care what you did in the past nor should anyone..unless you were hurting yourself or others. It is none of our business. You should not have to explain this but yet understand why you did, sorry you had to. You have great style and beauty. Good for you girl!!

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  107. This testimony is absolutely beautiful! You go girl:)

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  108. You just brought lovely pearls in my eyes…thank you for sharing with us your beauty, honesty and vulnerability.
    Love and blessings,
    Elisa

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  109. You just brought lovely pearls in my eyes…thank you for sharing with us your beauty, honesty and vulnerability.
    Love and blessings,
    Elisa

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